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Pages: Let's say I have needs he can't fulfill [1]
Author Topic: Let's say I have needs he can't fulfill

Posts: 2

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2011-03-24 8-05-03-

Let's say I have needs he can't fulfill I was really broken down in my last relationship and feel like I need extra support and nurturing in my next relationship. He lives an hour away and has a kid. Normally I could handle this but I feel like I need more attention and support than normal. So we're not dating. But he got upset when I went on a date. Said he thought I'd be working on making room for him in my life first before other people. So is he right? Do I need to focus on myself and not get distracted with dating? Or is it wrong of me to say I need someone that can offer more face time, physical contact, and who has no other priorities than me?
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Posts: 16

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2011-05-16 21-28-22

If you don't want to date him, then it doesn't matter what he thinks. If you do want to date him, then just date him.
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  • augello

    Full Member
    Posts: 11

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    2011-05-21 22-35-48

    I want to date him I mean, I want to be with him. But he can't offer me what I need to be satisfied right now, to be honest. So I'm not going to date him knowing that I would become resentful of the situation.
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    Posts: 26

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    2011-06-02 23-08-52

    If he's not the one you want then you don't want to date him, and it doesn't matter how he feels about you dating others. You have to make up your mind.
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    Posts: 24

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    2011-07-22 23-32-08

    I want him but logistiy it won't work If he were closer or if I needed less support it could work. But it won't right now, so we're not trying to push it. I'm just saying in the meantime... I wonder if I should try and get the "I need nurturing" out of my system? Or get in to therapy to figure out why I need it so bad right now.
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  • gazda

    Full Member
    Posts: 8

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    2011-09-01 18-00-43

    you are not ready for a relationship if you have these kinds of "needs" going in. have you considered getting a few good girl friends to help deal with your emotional problems?
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  • cunning

    Posts: 6

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    2011-09-14 5-46-27-

    I have girlfiends but yeah I think you are right I'm not ready. I think I actually need something more structured than girl talk. like maybe therapy.
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    Posts: 13

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    2011-11-13 7-52-32-

    no, you just need to open up to them
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  • jung

    Posts: 32

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    2012-01-06 18-21-22

    are you ok with not dating him ever? Backburnering him will probably not go over well. If he's not what you need, just let him go.
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    Posts: 13

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    2012-03-11 13-24-27

    I have let him go in a sense. I told him to move on and date other people. We agreed to not try to be together and to just be friends. And I wouldn't say I'm ok with it not ever happening. I would like for it to happen someday when we are both in a better position to commit.
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    Posts: 9

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    2012-06-12 23-08-15

    Life doesn't usually work that way just let him go.
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  • genna

    Posts: 7

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    2012-09-06 19-28-52

    yes, you need to focus on yourself before getting back into a relationship.
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    Posts: 14

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    2012-11-13 5-00-23-

    it's been over a year I just thought I'd be ready by now
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    Posts: 28

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    2012-12-23 0-50-23-

    it all comes down to weather or not your willing to date someone an hour away with a . sorry...but if you ask me.. he sounds like a good man with his priorities in check. when a man put's his first that's something that you must respect and if you can't. fuck you hater
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  • pryce

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    Posts: 16

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    2013-02-11 21-58-25

    no I love the fact that his is first he is an amazing father and it's part of what I love about him. And I understand and respect the fact that his kid is #x. I would never want it any other way. If it were different, I don't think I'd like or respect him as much. I'm just saying that right now, that sort of relationship won't fulfill me. I'm overly needy for support and attention. I think it was pretty good of me to recognize that ahead of time rather than drag him (and his kid) through a relationship that I know would blow up soon.
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    Posts: 25

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    2013-03-23 22-35-24

    your right! very mature of you to realize this.. but very immature of you to be so selfish to let something go like me. NO man will fulfill these old are you?
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  • isaac

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    Posts: 45

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    2013-04-10 7-33-11-

    almost x I wish I didnt feel this way. I wish I could not be so selfish and just be with him and accept him for who he is and his situation. I just cant trust myself after the long-term hell I went through. I lost my confidence, my trust in people, my independence and so much more. I am a shell of the person I used to be.
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  • geppert

    Posts: 11

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    2013-04-29 20-15-21

    sounds like he wants you to take care of you... which should be your only concern...better yourself
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  • tuomi

    Posts: 14

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    2013-05-16 0-17-25-

    why dont you all move in together? then you guys can see each other all the time. you could become a mother figure for his kid.
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    Posts: 45

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    2013-08-09 1-37-43-

    i was thinking the same since I wan to pursue a woman in NC. they I would uproot myself and go for her. Job runs out Dec x anyways and are grown I am g
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    2015-07-07 23-24-30

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