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Pages: My rant for the fall. [1]
Author Topic: My rant for the fall.
verrilli

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2012-05-12 10-37-47

My rant for the fall. I took the papers to the stbx to look over last night. They all refer to this as an amicable, uncontested, no fault divorce. No blame was placed on either of us. They stated that we have agreed on the division of assets, debts and custody (which I think is the case). I was trying to be considerate to her and let her see what I was planning on filing next week. Well needless to say she did not like it at all. I don’t get it. She is coming out of this with the house, the property, the car she had before and the are living with her. The onlythings I want are to be able to see the kiddos whenever I want and to get the divorce over with. She went on and on about how she doesn’t understand what my hurry is and why do I feel like I need to divorce her. I think she still holds out hope thatday we will get back together and be a happy family again. I’ve told her on numerous occasions that it will never happen because of the choices that she made. So any way all I want is to get the divorce monkey off my back and get the legal stuff out of the way. I just don’t understand why after x months of us living apart she is still hesitant to just sign the papers and bring this to an end. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable at all and I’ve done way more than most people in my shoes would have done over the course of the last year. I guess I’m just getting frustrated with the whole thing. Sorry for the rant but it helps to get it out sometimes.
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daines

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2012-05-24 2-35-45-

That's what I figure too. I have told her that there is no chance of us getting back together. She has lost my trust and cannot do anything to gain that back. All I want is some closure.
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  • hero

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    2012-08-07 15-08-47

    In the future, don't say that to her. It just hurt. Find another response when she asks whats the hurry. Maybe something more like "so you can move forward with your life and be happy" leaving the crap out about the trust and you never taking her back thing. Just food for thought, you know a way to make it easier.
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    sharlene

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    2013-06-10 9-53-11-

    Cartman, my man! You have done the right thing throughout your entire ordeal. Thanks for shaing all this with us. It wasof the nicest, unbitchy rants I've heard in a long time!
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  • Mitesh

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    2013-10-11 17-29-49

    Did she finally sign the paperwork? It also sounds like she's not happy where she at, or she might be reflecting on what she had and it was better. Who knows what she's thinking now.
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  • Ainslie

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    2013-11-10 10-39-35

    She has not signed yet. I left her copies to look over until Friday. I let her know that I plan on filing them next week and that if she doesn't sign them I will have her served with them. Either way I plan on getting it done sooner rather than later.
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    land

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    2013-12-02 23-52-05

    You're doing the right thing. Be as kind and courteous about it until then, which I know you have. Even tho youhave been apart and the divorce is going to happen, doesn't mean that she isn't hurt by this ending. Sometimes when it hits you in the face, that's when you realize it's really over and the stress kicks in and can be more painful.
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  • siever

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    2013-12-09 6-42-28-

    I try as hard as I can to keep up the front I smile to her face and never raise my voice to her. I listen when she speaks and try to respond with kind words. I know it's tough but at some point it has to come to an end. I guess I just learned to deal with the fact sooner than she did. I guess it helps that I haven't been playing house with the replacement like she has been.
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    bucholz

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    2013-12-23 7-12-38-

    If you were, she would have made the div more difficult. Reality has slapped her in the face and it hurt. All you can do is be sympathetic about it. I know you'll file if she signs or doesn't, but she may have issues with failure, so it might take a little longer to accept. Keep moving forward. I'm hoping for you she signs, but if not, have her served. You've made no secret to her about your intentions so there will be no surprize when it happens. I honestly can bet your going to serve her. My opinion, I'm hoping I'm wrong. I hope she s you and tells you they've been signed. If this happens, pick them up, give her a hug. I would say more but people I don't wanna get bashed.
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  • amie

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    2014-01-04 15-01-35

    I'm with you all the way up to the hug part. I think I'll skip that or any other personal contact.
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    seagle

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    2014-01-07 0-36-29-

    A hug as a thank you for signing
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  • mcintosh

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    2014-01-18 12-20-52

    No worries, just a recommendation Sounds like she's hurting (but she did cause it). You know how that goes, even if you know you were in the wrong, ya think it wouldn't be painful but sometimes it still is.
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    nickey

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    2014-01-24 4-23-11-

    She is a fucking bitch. She can't hold out forever. Will the lack of a signature stop this process in Arkansas indefinitely? Or, can you move it along with/without her cooperation? Basiy, fuck her. She got what she wanted and simplified your life.
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  • rowlett

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    2014-01-27 2-12-09-

    No, not indefinately I'll just have to have her served. I was hoping to avoid that delay since I thought we had everything worked out. I'll serve her if she doesn't sign them on her own.
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    Nikolaos

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    2014-02-01 7-40-13-

    Sounds like she's hanging onto hope But if it's "done," just file the papers. In x months, nothing's been filed?? What does "see your whenever you want" look like on the papers? FYI, unless there's an actual, enforceable parenting schedule in the paperwork, the judge won't likely sign off on it. You guys would just be back in front of him arguing over who gets to see the when. Good luck!
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  • Tarik

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    2014-02-04 16-38-52

    WE had to be living apart for a period of at least x months in order to file no fault. I have drawn up a parenting plan that lays out the schedule rather clear. I have learned a few things over the course of the last year reading the horror stories around here so I have made sure that I have my ducks in a row.
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    2014-02-06 22-08-28

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    kostrzewa

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    2014-02-09 4-48-00-

    It doesn't matter what she thinks or wants, you want a divorce and that is all there is to it. My ex dragged her feet through the process for almost x years. I had to put her in front of a judge who forced her to co-operate with everything. Guess what Cartman, you don't have an uncontested divorce if she is fighting you on anything. Give her an ultimatum that if she doesn't agree, the court will make her. Simple as that.
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